Enneagram 4's Power

Mirror images, light and shadow

The following is the first, but not the last, entry I'll make about the “enneagram of personality.”

The Enneagram is a personality typing system based on ancient spiritual traditions which describes people in terms of their core motivations, desires and fears. — Truity

I tire of the narrative of the eternally suffering four. So many type descriptions floating around in the aether are centered around the idea that type four is synonymous with pain. Not only is that off base, but it’s quite frankly trite and boring. Anyone with this perspective has not explored the depth of four (which is the easiest way to make us roll our eyes.)

We are deep like the ocean, dark and mysterious! Witness our splendour… I’m joking (mostly.) It’s also bothersome to be accused of lacking humor simply because we display a dramatic variety of moods. I can be just as intensely playful as I can be deeply sorrowful. (I’d venture to guess that if a four hasn’t shown you their childlike side, they do not feel comfortable around you.)

Like an ocean, we act as a mirror, reflecting the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is a strength of type four to be willing to witness a person's totality and accept them just as they are.

Type fours often appreciate so-called flaws. If you think about a piece of music or work of art that speaks to the very soul, it’s likely that there are “imperfections”- visible brush strokes, a note sounded slightly off-key, a scene framed slightly off-center. Knowing that these details make a work or a person special is intuitive to a four. Taking them away is like stripping away the heart and soul.

Four can explore the shadow with curiosity and appreciation, whereas other types struggle to witness these aspects of self.

At worst, there may be reactionary gaslighting that we are the problem for pointing out the uncomfortable thing. Younger or more inexperienced fours may internalize this and feel defective and rejected, as if responsible for others’ reactions to the dark and shadowy. In reality, the fear is not about the four, it’s about that individual or group refusing to face their hidden side and projecting their discomfort on the mirror reflecting them. Jung said something along the lines of “the shadow is the thing we wish never to be.”

As a part of the reactive triad, fours react to being reacted to - so taking a step back in detachment can be a helpful habit to develop.

4’s ability to witness and explore the dark elements of the psyche and emotional spectrum is a great strength. I take great pride in being someone others seek out in moments of trepidation, uncertainty, and grief. To be a safe harbor, allowing others to be vulnerable, is a privilege. I allow all feelings and moods, accepting them as they come and go, and in so doing model to other types that these dark moments pass as rainclouds do, and it’s alright to let that rain fall from time to time.

The self-actualized four is aware of the immense power being a mirror offers, and refuses to retreat from a world that pushes back in fear.